Awoke early to a glorious sunny morning. I showered and the water was barely a trickle. Apparently, this going to be fixed today. Breakfast in my room then down to Pi Lek’s for morning coffee. Returned to my room to respond to my emails and transfer money to International House for my CELTA course next month.

Early and delicious lunch at the Italian restaurant. I had bruschetta as a starter then spaghetti with a simple but good pesto sauce. Penne, the owner, told me that she is selling up and going to concentrate on her organic farm in Kao Pronom.

After lunch I took the motorbike to Ao Nang. This was the first hot day I’d experienced this time in Thailand and it was wonderful to feel the heat soaking into my body. After all the rain, the tropical vegetation looked incredibly lush, the vivid green standing out against the blue sky. When I got to the coast, I found the tide in and the bay was just amazing.

I went for a delicious swim and lazed about in the water, looking up at the towering cliffs. I got out and applied sun cream as the early afternoon sun was probably dangerously strong. As I couldn’t really do my own back properly, I asked a nearby buxom German girl to put sun cream on for me. I felt really corny as if I was trying to pull off the oldest beach chat up line in the world.

She seem a little startled but proceeded apply sun cream with a surprising sensuality. She went on massaging and stroking my back for ages after the cream was rubbed in. However, I didn’t try any conversation while she massaged my love handles and all sorts of other places I could have easily reached myself. Which was probably just as well because not long after, a big burly man - presumably her boyfriend arrived and lay down next to her. They didn't appear to be ostentatiously talking to each other...but I could pretty much guess their whispered conversation....

"You never guess what happened!"

"What?"

"See that skinny foreign man over there? The one with the tight Speedo shorts?"

"Yeah, why? What about him?"

"Well, just now before you came, he asked me to rub sun cream into his bottom!"

"Really?! Do you think he is gay?"

"I'm not sure but I should think he definitely swings both ways!"

"Interesting. Do you think we should invite him back to our room? We still haven't properly tried out that bondage kit I gave me for your birthday..."

"Hmmm. He doesn't look very strong. He's very thin.  I'm not so sure."

"That could be fun! Let's bring him back anyway..."

If the tropical sun hadn't been so hot, I would have broken out into a cold sweat.  As it was already 30 degrees plus, I was sweating anyway.  I decided to go in for a swim and perhaps slip quietly away without the dangerous couple noticing. 

The German couple pretended not to notice me as I walked down to the water...but I could feel their eyes watching me beadily behind my back.  After twenty minutes in the water I felt calmer.  Perhaps they weren't going to kidnap and sexually assault me after all.  I got on my motorbike and went to Starbucks to try a Soya Caramel latte. Twas very goodly indeed. It was late afternoon before I headed back to town and watched the sunset from the balcony of my apartment. Then I tried the shower. Bliss! It was gushing out like the waterfall I visited yesterday.

I felt very relaxed. I thought of P and my relationship problems. I thought of my narrow escape from the German couple.  The world was a strange place, I reflected, full of unexpected surprises.  I decided that I’d had enough of being ‘Ben style’. From now on, I would always be straight with myself and everyone. The Reader might snigger at this but good intentions are not that difficult to make...its the keeping them that is the tricky bit.  My virtuous intentions made, I headed to the night market by the river to get a cheap, Thai meal of veg and tofu over rice with banana shake and Thai old fashioned style tea.