Two
beaches down the island, I checked in at Tubtim resort. Here for 700
baht, I got a lovely, teak bungalow overlooking the beach in front
and the hills to the left. It was spotlessly clean, had crisp cotton
sheets on the big bed and had its own bathroom – although there was
no sign of any spiders.
Incredibly,
there was a big swell coming in off the ocean. In eight years of
coming to Thailand, I’ve never seen decent sized waves but today it
was breaking chest height with four foot sets. It was fantastic to
bodysurf in such warm water. Unfortunately, I underestimated the
power of a shorebreaker wave and got dumped and then dragged on the
sand by the force of the water. To make matters worse, there were
bits of loose coral there as well. When I got up, my stomach was
bleeding and my ears were full of
sand. This was the first time I’d suffered an injury through
bodysurfing…and in Thailand of all places. I’d bodysurfed since I
was a teenager in Cornwall and Australia without any mishap.
In
the evening, my friend Bee came from Bangkok to stay with me. She
took the speedboat from the mainland but the boat driver did not dare
to land on the beach because of the waves. I could have told him that
it was perfectly safe to drive in with the waves and then turn and
face them in the shallow water but Thai boatmen are not used to
waves. The speedboat had to go all the way back to the main island
pier which was three or four bays away.
When
Bee finally arrived at Tubtim resort, it was dark. I went to meet her
as she got down from the pick up trunk taxi. Bee was half Chinese
with white skin and long black hair down to her waist. Her figure was
full or what the Thais call oarp
and what I would call curvy. We went to eat dinner and she told me
that Koh Samet was famous as the place where “you were sure to
set”. In other words, if you managed to persuade a girl to go to
Koh Samet with you then would be sure to “close the deal” or
seduce her there.
I
laughed when I heard this and told her how when I first came to
Thailand, I’d fallen in love with a distant cousin of mine called Noi. I’d asked her to come to Samet with me and, after first
making my promise that I wouldn’t tell her grandmother, she agreed.
We
stayed together in a little seaside bungalow and slept fully clothed
next to each other on a bed. But nothing happened. Bee laughed at my
story.
“Noi must have thought you were really stupid,” she said. “All you had
to do was to grab her. She was just pretending to be a 'good girl'. Thai girls always do that. Any girl who agrees to come alone to Koh Samet with a man is up for it for sure.”
Bee
was quite right. After dinner we went for a romantic stroll along the beach in the moonlight and then returned to our bungalow to test her theory. We spent a pleasant three days living my philosophy
of Simplicity
and Pleasure” to the max. The food was simple, good and plentiful.
The sex was simple, good and plentiful. The bed entered into the
spirit of the thing and creaked enthusiastically all night long. The
waves murmured gently on the white sands outside. The gentle breeze
sighed through the palm trees and wafted the scent of jasmine through
the mosquito screens. Bee’s philosophy was always to try and
improve herself. This time she wanted to perfect her oral techniques
and I was quite happy to indulge her. It was a pleasant few days and when I look back at those days - no doubt through a rosy mist of nostalgia - I realise that simplicity really is the only way to live ones life.
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