Sunday

Things start to look up

Two beaches down the island, I checked in at Tubtim resort. Here for 700 baht, I got a lovely, teak bungalow overlooking the beach in front and the hills to the left. It was spotlessly clean, had crisp cotton sheets on the big bed and had its own bathroom – although there was no sign of any spiders.

Incredibly, there was a big swell coming in off the ocean. In eight years of coming to Thailand, I’ve never seen decent sized waves but today it was breaking chest height with four foot sets. It was fantastic to bodysurf in such warm water. Unfortunately, I underestimated the power of a shorebreaker wave and got dumped and then dragged on the sand by the force of the water. To make matters worse, there were bits of loose coral there as well. When I got up, my stomach was bleeding and my ears were full of sand. This was the first time I’d suffered an injury through bodysurfing…and in Thailand of all places. I’d bodysurfed since I was a teenager in Cornwall and Australia without any mishap.

In the evening, my friend Bee came from Bangkok to stay with me. She took the speedboat from the mainland but the boat driver did not dare to land on the beach because of the waves. I could have told him that it was perfectly safe to drive in with the waves and then turn and face them in the shallow water but Thai boatmen are not used to waves. The speedboat had to go all the way back to the main island pier which was three or four bays away.

When Bee finally arrived at Tubtim resort, it was dark. I went to meet her as she got down from the pick up trunk taxi. Bee was half Chinese with white skin and long black hair down to her waist. Her figure was full or what the Thais call oarp and what I would call curvy. We went to eat dinner and she told me that Koh Samet was famous as the place where “you were sure to set”. In other words, if you managed to persuade a girl to go to Koh Samet with you then would be sure to “close the deal” or seduce her there.

I laughed when I heard this and told her how when I first came to Thailand, I’d fallen in love with a distant cousin of mine called Noi. I’d asked her to come to Samet with me and, after first making my promise that I wouldn’t tell her grandmother, she agreed.

We stayed together in a little seaside bungalow and slept fully clothed next to each other on a bed. But nothing happened. Bee laughed at my story.

“Noi must have thought you were really stupid,” she said. “All you had to do was to grab her. She was just pretending to be a 'good girl'.  Thai girls always do that.  Any girl who agrees to come alone to Koh Samet with a man is up for it for sure.

Bee was quite right. After dinner we went for a romantic stroll along the beach in the moonlight and then returned to our bungalow to test her theory.  We spent a pleasant three days living my philosophy of Simplicity and Pleasure” to the max. The food was simple, good and plentiful. The sex was simple, good and plentiful. The bed entered into the spirit of the thing and creaked enthusiastically all night long. The waves murmured gently on the white sands outside. The gentle breeze sighed through the palm trees and wafted the scent of jasmine through the mosquito screens. Bee’s philosophy was always to try and improve herself. This time she wanted to perfect her oral techniques and I was quite happy to indulge her. It was a pleasant few days and when I look back at those days - no doubt through a rosy mist of nostalgia - I realise that simplicity really is the only way to live ones life.

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