Last day at school

Last day at school before my much needed holiday. My two lovely German students wanted to spend the last lesson singing English songs on the guitar. It was a very agreeable morning. My Turkish student had gone to London for the weekend so it was just the Thai girl and the two Germans. I taught them how to use the future tense and then demonstrated a practical use of it by reading the future in their hands.  This was a party trick I had picked up from a lesbian tour guide I met on a Thai island.  I studied the palms of their hands, traced a few lines with my finger and then nodded wisely.

“You will have twins,” I told J, the flawlessly beautiful one.

Her big blue eyes widened in surprise and her mouth fell open, displaying perfect, pearly white teeth.

“But it’s true! My mother is twins…and twins always skips a generation!”

She turned to her friend and spoke excitedly in German to her. Her friend started speaking excitedly back. She turned back to me again happily and clutched her left breast.

“My breast hurts,” she confided. “It hurts when I breathe deeply.”

I was a bit nonplussed. Examining my young and beautiful students’ breasts was surely outside my job description. My other German student nodded eagerly.

“Mine hurts too!” she said and straightened her shoulders to display her huge cleavage more clearly to me.

“It’s because your boobs are so big,” laughed J and they both giggled. “She needs a new bra.”

“Hmmm,” I said thoughtfully. “Maybe you need to go shopping or see a doctor. Anyway, if you turn back to page 43 of your books…”

Reluctantly, the three students bent their heads over their books. One of the speaking exercises was to say two things about what they liked about Plymouth.

“I like Plymouth,” said J brightly. “Because the city is nice and the humans are

friendly.”