Ok, so after a really long time...5 years or so...I have been inspired to return to writing my blog.  I've managed to dig up all sorts of random stuff I wrote, some from ages ago.  Anyway, I'm going to post them as and when I can.  So here is the first bit which I think dates from really ages ago when I first went to Thailand...

WEDNESDAY

One of the things that I love about travelling alone is the sheer randomness of everything. I wanted to catch the bus from Don Muang to Bangkok to avoid paying the 400baht taxi fare. It should have been simple.

It wasn’t. Instead, I found myself paying 10baht for an open-windowed train to Hualamphong Station and ended up in a Thai hotel room with Noi, a 26 year old girl who wears clothes from 200 years ago and is a classical Thai dancer.

Noi soon filled me in on the “correct” behaviour between old school Thai couples. The woman’s bed must be lower than the man’s. If he wanted to sleep with her then he could come to her bed but she could not come to his. She must “wai” (fold hands respectfully together in a praying motion) to him before he touched her and then she must wipe his feet with her hair before he lay with her.

Thais did not kiss, continued Noi. Instead they "sniffed" each other. No mouth to mouth, tongues etc.? No, certainly not.

Sex between them was as gloomy and joyless as the foreplay. Her pleasure did not matter. Any positions that involved her taking the initiative were “wrong”. A slight concession to modern practices was that he was now allowed to kiss her breasts. Before it was considered degrading to him to kiss below her neck. Oral sex was, naturally, out of the question.

I asked her how often a Thai couple would have sex. She said “maybe once or twice a month”. No wonder, I thought.

However, usually the man would get it more often than the woman. In Thailand it is considered normal for a man to be “jow chew” (promiscuous) and although Thai women don’t like it they tolerate it. It is not uncommon for him to have several “kiks” as well as a main girlfriend or wife. A “kik” is a person described by Thais as being “more than a friend and less than a girlfriend/boyfriend”. Women sometimes have several “kiks” but this is (apparently) not usual among “respectable” girls.

It wasn't until I'd been in Thailand for two months that I found out that "respectable" women always lie about anything to do with sex....