2 February
Today I return to my diary after a weeks absence. My friend Mark from England has arrived and I have been busy. On the second day in Bangkok, he spotted a university student in a café and got Mina to ask for her mobile number. Since then, he has been going around with a slightly vacant, crazed and harassed look in his eye.
“Ben! Mina! I’m late! I said that I’d meet her at Siam at one thirty…and it’s now twelve! I haven’t got time for lunch…”
“Mark, I thought you agreed to come and meet my Harrow student’s mum. She’s expecting you. She wants to practice her English. Perhaps she’ll buy you a flat in Mayfair if you play your cards right…”
“Ben, I can’t!” His gaunt face wore a hunted expression. “I don’t know which shoes to wear with these trousers….these brown loafers or these trendy black ones….” His face suddenly brightened as a happy thought struck him.
“Ben! I’m gonna give her a good seeing to! She’s got a great figure….well, at least I think so. She was wearing this long baggy thing last time so I couldn’t really tell. But she definitely wasn’t thin. And she’s a good height….”
I left him to it and went to Pi Baby’s café for lunch. The Essex Boy was there with Mario the Italian. The Essex Boy was doing the talking and Mario was looking depressed.
“How’s long a piece of string? I can tell you. Exactly the same length if you cut it in the middle! I’m telling you, Mario! Wherever we are, wherever we find ourselves – we’ve arrived – in that exact spot!”
“Doesn’t make any difference,” said Mario glumly. “I just fed up with Thailand and Thai girls. Always spend, spend, spend my money. I tell you, it’s not cheap living here in Thailand…”
“Mario my man, if you’re STILL thinking those kinda thoughts then you’re obviously not drinking enough. You need to drink more and think less. Go out and get another bird. Have another beer, mate. Get some vitamins into you…”
“I need to make a phone call,” said Mario and stood up. He went out of the café into the street. The Essex Boy turned to me.
“Bloody ‘ell, Ben. Haven’t a sharp knife handy, have you? Cos think am gonna slit my throat. Talking to Mario always makes me feel so cheerful…”
Today I return to my diary after a weeks absence. My friend Mark from England has arrived and I have been busy. On the second day in Bangkok, he spotted a university student in a café and got Mina to ask for her mobile number. Since then, he has been going around with a slightly vacant, crazed and harassed look in his eye.
“Ben! Mina! I’m late! I said that I’d meet her at Siam at one thirty…and it’s now twelve! I haven’t got time for lunch…”
“Mark, I thought you agreed to come and meet my Harrow student’s mum. She’s expecting you. She wants to practice her English. Perhaps she’ll buy you a flat in Mayfair if you play your cards right…”
“Ben, I can’t!” His gaunt face wore a hunted expression. “I don’t know which shoes to wear with these trousers….these brown loafers or these trendy black ones….” His face suddenly brightened as a happy thought struck him.
“Ben! I’m gonna give her a good seeing to! She’s got a great figure….well, at least I think so. She was wearing this long baggy thing last time so I couldn’t really tell. But she definitely wasn’t thin. And she’s a good height….”
I left him to it and went to Pi Baby’s café for lunch. The Essex Boy was there with Mario the Italian. The Essex Boy was doing the talking and Mario was looking depressed.
“How’s long a piece of string? I can tell you. Exactly the same length if you cut it in the middle! I’m telling you, Mario! Wherever we are, wherever we find ourselves – we’ve arrived – in that exact spot!”
“Doesn’t make any difference,” said Mario glumly. “I just fed up with Thailand and Thai girls. Always spend, spend, spend my money. I tell you, it’s not cheap living here in Thailand…”
“Mario my man, if you’re STILL thinking those kinda thoughts then you’re obviously not drinking enough. You need to drink more and think less. Go out and get another bird. Have another beer, mate. Get some vitamins into you…”
“I need to make a phone call,” said Mario and stood up. He went out of the café into the street. The Essex Boy turned to me.
“Bloody ‘ell, Ben. Haven’t a sharp knife handy, have you? Cos think am gonna slit my throat. Talking to Mario always makes me feel so cheerful…”
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