15 October
Today I got up early and snorkeled off Shark Point again. When I returned to shower, I noticed several of the staff staring at a bush near my bungalow. I asked them what they were looking at.
“Snake!” said a man and threw a stone at the bush. I went closer and sure enough, there was a beautiful bright emerald and dark blue snake about a meter long. It was perfectly still on a branch and one third of its body was held stiff in the air. I wished that I could have photographed it.
I checked out and then returned to Pin’s shop at midday and ate lunch with June. In the afternoon I played volleyball with a Canadian, a German, a couple of Americans and a few local Thais. My game has improved greatly and my team even won – with me serving the winning point!
Dook came to Phi Phi today. She seems to have recovered from her bad mood, merely remarking that I was an old, balding man with a bad character who had “more than 10 snakes in my hair…”
I checked in the mirror to verify this but thankfully saw no serpents. I realized that this must be a Thai figure of speech and asked June to explain. She told me that I had 17 snakes in my hair and refused to elaborate further.
I gave up and went to take a shower. As I headed towards Pin’s shop, I heard two local girls planning the evening.
“I know what,” said one. “Let’s go take a shower, dress up sexy and then get drunk…”
I didn’t hear if there was anymore to her plan because just then, the amplified lament of a Muslim calling the faithful to prayer echoed across the island and drowned out the rest of what she said.
The indigenous population of Koh Phi Phi is made up of a mixture of Buddhists and Muslims. Both religions forbid the consumption of alcohol and yet the bars are always full with locals. I have been to only one restaurant here which bans alcohol on the premises. It is run by a quiet Muslim family and serves excellent Thai and Farang food. It is almost always deserted…
Friday
14 October
Today I had breakfast with June. In the afternoon, I went to Long Beach. I had a wonderful time. The snorkeling was even better than Rantee Beach although the coral was not as pretty. But the sheer volume and variety and ocean life more than made up for it. I swam with sword fish and saw at least 10 reef sharks.
Towards the end of the afternoon, the sky grew dark and I decided to stay the night there instead of braving the long trek back to Pin’s shop. I was soon glad of my decision because soon the skies opened and there was a full on tropical thunder storm.
Today I had breakfast with June. In the afternoon, I went to Long Beach. I had a wonderful time. The snorkeling was even better than Rantee Beach although the coral was not as pretty. But the sheer volume and variety and ocean life more than made up for it. I swam with sword fish and saw at least 10 reef sharks.
Towards the end of the afternoon, the sky grew dark and I decided to stay the night there instead of braving the long trek back to Pin’s shop. I was soon glad of my decision because soon the skies opened and there was a full on tropical thunder storm.
13 October
In the morning, a baby monkey joined me for breakfast. The cook told me that its mother had died and the rest of the monkey troupe had rejected it so she had taken it on. The baby monkey was 3 months old male and played happily with a small toddler and a cream coloured cat that also lived there. The cook offered it a banana to eat but it was more interested in my coffee. She told me that it was very fond of hot coffee.
I checked out at 10.30 and then slogged up through the hot, steaming jungle. By the time I got back to Pin’s shop, I was exhausted and my legs were shaking. My shirt was completely soaked with sweat. I took a shower and then went to PP Bakery and ordered a salad sandwich. After lunch, I had a massage and then taught English to Pin, Poon and Dar.
In the morning, a baby monkey joined me for breakfast. The cook told me that its mother had died and the rest of the monkey troupe had rejected it so she had taken it on. The baby monkey was 3 months old male and played happily with a small toddler and a cream coloured cat that also lived there. The cook offered it a banana to eat but it was more interested in my coffee. She told me that it was very fond of hot coffee.
I checked out at 10.30 and then slogged up through the hot, steaming jungle. By the time I got back to Pin’s shop, I was exhausted and my legs were shaking. My shirt was completely soaked with sweat. I took a shower and then went to PP Bakery and ordered a salad sandwich. After lunch, I had a massage and then taught English to Pin, Poon and Dar.
12 October
Today I ate breakfast at Pin’s shop. After lunch I went to Rantee Bay. This was accessible only after an exhausting trek up a steep mountain jungle path and then down the other side. The path was more of a waterway rather than a proper path and involved lots of swinging off tree creepers and tripping over their trailing roots. There were lots of big mosquitoes as well.
However, the long hike was worth it. Rantee Bay is a quiet, lovely beach with powdery white sand shaded by leafy Caucasian trees. I was hot and sweaty after my trek through the jungle so went straight in for a swim. The water was crystal clear and colourful tropical fish swam around my feet. I couldn’t believe how many there were – I had never seen anything like it.
“I’m going back to hire some snorkeling equipment!” I decided.
I turned to go and tripped over a piece of coral. As I stumbled for balance in the waist deep water, my right foot brushed against something and sharp pain immediate shot through me!
When I looked down to see what it was, I saw a nasty looking animal with long black spines on the coral. I lifted my foot and saw that two of its spines were imbedded in the side below my ankle.
Fearing an imminent and painful death, I hobbled ashore and sought assistance at the little restaurant. Luckily, a very competent Aussie couple were eating there and took charge. They told me that although the fish was poisonous, I wasn’t going to die and rubbed lemon juice into my wounds. I was lucky that it was only two spines and that they were in the side of the foot. It I had trod on the beast normally then I wouldn’t have been able to walk. The black spines were deeply imbedded and could not be taken out. They would be dissolved by my body in about 3 months.
After about 15 minutes, the pain in my foot disappeared, although it was still swollen. I returned to the water with a kayak and my snorkeling gear. I paddled out to a likely looking spot and moored my kayak to a small fishing buoy. I entered the water.
It was the best snorkeling I have ever experienced. The visibility was excellent and there were big walls of coral literally teeming with life. I was surrounded by parrot fish, tiger fish, spear fish and all sorts that I did not recognize. When I returned to where I’d tied the kayak, I looked down and saw a solid mass of moving brown. There was at least a thousand fish in that shoal. They were brown on top but their underneath was silver so that the shoal sparkled as every now and then, one of them decided to turn over.
After many hours, I returned to the shore to find that I had missed the last boat back to the main part of the island. There was no point in attempting that long hazardous trek back through the jungle this late so I decided to spend the night.
The bungalows were simple, bamboo and wood affairs with electricity from 6pm to 4 in the morning. They cost between 300 – 400 baht per night. I took a 400 baht one, although there was very little difference from the cheaper 300 baht option. All had attached bathrooms but they had no roofs so were practically open air. It was actually very pleasant to take a cold shower and see the jungle all around. It really felt like you were “getting back to nature”!
The limited electricity meant that the place was dead quiet except for the noises of the jungle. It was an incredibly peaceful and relaxing place to stay. At night, I ate at the simple restaurant by the beach and watched the hoards of large crabs that chased the big heavy leaves that fell from the Caucasian trees.
Today I ate breakfast at Pin’s shop. After lunch I went to Rantee Bay. This was accessible only after an exhausting trek up a steep mountain jungle path and then down the other side. The path was more of a waterway rather than a proper path and involved lots of swinging off tree creepers and tripping over their trailing roots. There were lots of big mosquitoes as well.
However, the long hike was worth it. Rantee Bay is a quiet, lovely beach with powdery white sand shaded by leafy Caucasian trees. I was hot and sweaty after my trek through the jungle so went straight in for a swim. The water was crystal clear and colourful tropical fish swam around my feet. I couldn’t believe how many there were – I had never seen anything like it.
“I’m going back to hire some snorkeling equipment!” I decided.
I turned to go and tripped over a piece of coral. As I stumbled for balance in the waist deep water, my right foot brushed against something and sharp pain immediate shot through me!
When I looked down to see what it was, I saw a nasty looking animal with long black spines on the coral. I lifted my foot and saw that two of its spines were imbedded in the side below my ankle.
Fearing an imminent and painful death, I hobbled ashore and sought assistance at the little restaurant. Luckily, a very competent Aussie couple were eating there and took charge. They told me that although the fish was poisonous, I wasn’t going to die and rubbed lemon juice into my wounds. I was lucky that it was only two spines and that they were in the side of the foot. It I had trod on the beast normally then I wouldn’t have been able to walk. The black spines were deeply imbedded and could not be taken out. They would be dissolved by my body in about 3 months.
After about 15 minutes, the pain in my foot disappeared, although it was still swollen. I returned to the water with a kayak and my snorkeling gear. I paddled out to a likely looking spot and moored my kayak to a small fishing buoy. I entered the water.
It was the best snorkeling I have ever experienced. The visibility was excellent and there were big walls of coral literally teeming with life. I was surrounded by parrot fish, tiger fish, spear fish and all sorts that I did not recognize. When I returned to where I’d tied the kayak, I looked down and saw a solid mass of moving brown. There was at least a thousand fish in that shoal. They were brown on top but their underneath was silver so that the shoal sparkled as every now and then, one of them decided to turn over.
After many hours, I returned to the shore to find that I had missed the last boat back to the main part of the island. There was no point in attempting that long hazardous trek back through the jungle this late so I decided to spend the night.
The bungalows were simple, bamboo and wood affairs with electricity from 6pm to 4 in the morning. They cost between 300 – 400 baht per night. I took a 400 baht one, although there was very little difference from the cheaper 300 baht option. All had attached bathrooms but they had no roofs so were practically open air. It was actually very pleasant to take a cold shower and see the jungle all around. It really felt like you were “getting back to nature”!
The limited electricity meant that the place was dead quiet except for the noises of the jungle. It was an incredibly peaceful and relaxing place to stay. At night, I ate at the simple restaurant by the beach and watched the hoards of large crabs that chased the big heavy leaves that fell from the Caucasian trees.
Monday
11 October
Today I worked in the bookshop again. I met 3 Americans who were traveling in Thailand for a month after finishing their studies. They were a nice bunch, 2 men and a girl. They were looking for a place called Garlic Restaurant.
Late afternoon, I went to the island viewpoint. I had to climb 300 steep steps – which were a breeze after the Tiger Cave Temple – and then a further kilometer or so up a steepish slope. At the top I was rewarded by beautiful panoramic views of the island and beaches. I saw several exotic looking tropical forest birds as well. One looked like cross between a woodpecker and some kind of great tit and the other bird was large with white wings and a black body. It flew at incredible speed through the forest.
While I was enjoying a well earned drink at the viewpoint café, I met an Irish girl called Kate who had lost her camera whilst drunk at Koh Phang Nang 3 days ago. I offered to take pictures of her at the viewpoint and email to her. She was very grateful and told me that she and a friend had starting traveling through south-east Asia 3 months ago and were planning to continue onto Australia for New Year.
In the evening, I ate at an Italian restaurant with Pin then went to bed early.
Today I worked in the bookshop again. I met 3 Americans who were traveling in Thailand for a month after finishing their studies. They were a nice bunch, 2 men and a girl. They were looking for a place called Garlic Restaurant.
Late afternoon, I went to the island viewpoint. I had to climb 300 steep steps – which were a breeze after the Tiger Cave Temple – and then a further kilometer or so up a steepish slope. At the top I was rewarded by beautiful panoramic views of the island and beaches. I saw several exotic looking tropical forest birds as well. One looked like cross between a woodpecker and some kind of great tit and the other bird was large with white wings and a black body. It flew at incredible speed through the forest.
While I was enjoying a well earned drink at the viewpoint café, I met an Irish girl called Kate who had lost her camera whilst drunk at Koh Phang Nang 3 days ago. I offered to take pictures of her at the viewpoint and email to her. She was very grateful and told me that she and a friend had starting traveling through south-east Asia 3 months ago and were planning to continue onto Australia for New Year.
In the evening, I ate at an Italian restaurant with Pin then went to bed early.
Saturday
10 October
I awoke early and went for a swim. The tide was in and the clear emerald water got deep very quickly. The sheer towering cliffs were a perfect backdrop to the palm tree lined white sands. It was paradise.
After a while, the sun grew too hot. I returned to Pin’s shop, showered and then went to help Duen in the bookshop. She started telling me all about her boyfriend troubles.
“I’ve been here on Phi Phi for 13 years,” she said as she taped up a box of books. “But I’ve never had a farang boyfriend.”
“Do you want one?”
“Yes, of course! But I don’t want to sell myself for sex first.”
I didn’t at first see the connection. “What do you mean?”
“I spoke to a woman once who has a farang boyfriend and she told me that she had to sell herself for two thousand baht 20 times before she found a farang who loved her. And I am afraid that I might die of HIV before I find a husband.”
“Duen,” I said. “That’s crazy! You don’t have to become a prostitute in order to have a farang boyfriend! Who was this woman, anyway?”
“Well, she worked in a bar…”
“Well, there you are! And of course the men she met would have been that kind of farang. But not all farang men are here for sex! Think of me.”
“You’re not a farang. You’re half Thai. I think in 100 people, maybe 80 are here for sex first. A farang man told me.”
I decided to change the subject. “How many days a week do you work here?” I asked.
“Everyday.”
“And how much do you get paid?”
“6,000 baht a month and free room.”
Wow, I thought. That’s less than 100 pounds a month for working 7 days a week!
“How much money does this shop take a year?”
Duen reached for the account book and opened it. “Last year we take nearly two million baht (about 30,000 pounds)” she said.
“What’s the profit margin”
“If we buy a book for 100 baht, we sell it for 350 baht.”
I nodded thoughtfully. It was obvious that teaching English was not necessarily the best way of making money here.
I awoke early and went for a swim. The tide was in and the clear emerald water got deep very quickly. The sheer towering cliffs were a perfect backdrop to the palm tree lined white sands. It was paradise.
After a while, the sun grew too hot. I returned to Pin’s shop, showered and then went to help Duen in the bookshop. She started telling me all about her boyfriend troubles.
“I’ve been here on Phi Phi for 13 years,” she said as she taped up a box of books. “But I’ve never had a farang boyfriend.”
“Do you want one?”
“Yes, of course! But I don’t want to sell myself for sex first.”
I didn’t at first see the connection. “What do you mean?”
“I spoke to a woman once who has a farang boyfriend and she told me that she had to sell herself for two thousand baht 20 times before she found a farang who loved her. And I am afraid that I might die of HIV before I find a husband.”
“Duen,” I said. “That’s crazy! You don’t have to become a prostitute in order to have a farang boyfriend! Who was this woman, anyway?”
“Well, she worked in a bar…”
“Well, there you are! And of course the men she met would have been that kind of farang. But not all farang men are here for sex! Think of me.”
“You’re not a farang. You’re half Thai. I think in 100 people, maybe 80 are here for sex first. A farang man told me.”
I decided to change the subject. “How many days a week do you work here?” I asked.
“Everyday.”
“And how much do you get paid?”
“6,000 baht a month and free room.”
Wow, I thought. That’s less than 100 pounds a month for working 7 days a week!
“How much money does this shop take a year?”
Duen reached for the account book and opened it. “Last year we take nearly two million baht (about 30,000 pounds)” she said.
“What’s the profit margin”
“If we buy a book for 100 baht, we sell it for 350 baht.”
I nodded thoughtfully. It was obvious that teaching English was not necessarily the best way of making money here.
9 October
Today I woke up, refreshed after a good nights sleep. The weather was hot and sunny. I rang Gook and wished her a Happy Birthday. She told me that today wasn’t her birthday – it was tomorrow but she thanked me nevertheless.
I had breakfast with Pin at PP Bakery and then went and sat in PP Bookshop with Duen and chatted with her in English. Pin came to join us and made me coffee. Afterwards, I checked my email, applied for a job in Krabi teaching English and then had a Thai massage. It is a lazy and pleasant life here.
I wanted to take my dirty washing to a laundry shop but my friends would not hear of it. Varn insisted on washing it all by hand for me.
In the late afternoon, when the sun was low over the mountains, I played beach volleyball with Dee, a German called John and a few others. I soon discovered that I was appallingly bad but enjoyed myself nevertheless. At sunset, I went for a swim and then returned to Pin’s shop at dusk.
After dinner, I showed Poon a picture of my brother Piers and she was immediately interested.
“P’Ben! Send him my picture!” she urged. “I want farang boyfriend…rich farang boyfriend to take care me. Not stingy man, please!”
The other girls laughed at her.
“Little Elephant! You must to waxing your legs first if you want a farang boyfriend!” said Duen.
“I am to waxing my legs,” said Poon earnestly. “But it hurts because Poon has much hair!”
8 October
Today Mina went back home to Patanni. I took the boat to Koh Phi Phi. It is as beautiful as ever. My friends Varn and Duen met me at the pier with a trolley for my suitcase. Everyone seemed glad to see me and I received four separate invites to sleep at their place. In the end I agreed to sleep at Pin’s and Varn’s house. I went for a long swim at sunset. It was lovely to float on my back in the clear warm emerald water and watch the sun go down over the mountains. I returned to Pin and Varn’s shop at dusk and took a shower while Pin cooked me a meal.
Today Mina went back home to Patanni. I took the boat to Koh Phi Phi. It is as beautiful as ever. My friends Varn and Duen met me at the pier with a trolley for my suitcase. Everyone seemed glad to see me and I received four separate invites to sleep at their place. In the end I agreed to sleep at Pin’s and Varn’s house. I went for a long swim at sunset. It was lovely to float on my back in the clear warm emerald water and watch the sun go down over the mountains. I returned to Pin and Varn’s shop at dusk and took a shower while Pin cooked me a meal.
Thursday
7 OctoberWhen I awoke, the golden morning sunlight was shining through the soft rain falling on the mountains outside our window.
It was a beautiful scene and I stretched luxuriously on the crisp cotton sheets of the four poster bed and watched it for a while. Then I sprang out of bed and took a cold shower before doing my exercises. Some sixth instinct told me that, not far below, a full continental breakfast was calling me…
And so it was. After I had demolished 4 croissants, 3 pieces of toast, a place of fresh fruit and a few cups of coffee, I felt ready for whatever new adventures the day might bring.
The day’s adventure consisted of returning to the Grand Tower in Krabi and then taking an ancient and rather decrepit long boat to Khao Khanab Nam Cave.
This was a wondrous place – part Mines of Moria from Lord of the Rings and part Nature’s cathedral. It was lit by natural formed light shafts in the walls of the cave. Tiny swifts nested amongst the stalagmites hanging from the ceiling 50 feet above and called quietly to each other as they flitted to and fro. Somewhere deep in the darker places, water dripped steadily. It must have been possible to live here then. Apparently it is not uncommon to find human skeletons here dating from ancient times.
On the way back from the cave, we visited a fish farm. This was a ramshackle affair consisting of floating wooden planks and nets submerged in the brown water. We landed our boat and a small squat Thai man came out of a little floating hut and grinned at us.
“Fish fish!” he said and nodded at the old planks at his feet.
We stared down into the murky water but there didn’t seem much to see. He squatted down on the wet wood and reached into the water. He brought up a fish and grinned at us again.
“See! Fish!” he said.
His fish immediately started gulping in air in a pumping motion and rapidly blew itself up until it was the shape and size of a small football covered in spines. Its face looked remarkably Gollum-like.
“Fish fish!” he said and nodded at the old planks at his feet.
We stared down into the murky water but there didn’t seem much to see. He squatted down on the wet wood and reached into the water. He brought up a fish and grinned at us again.
“See! Fish!” he said.
His fish immediately started gulping in air in a pumping motion and rapidly blew itself up until it was the shape and size of a small football covered in spines. Its face looked remarkably Gollum-like.
"Put us back in the water nassty man! Yesss!" it hissed.
He put it back in the water where upon it deflated itself and slunk below the surface again.
After the fish farm, we returned to our hotel. Dook called to say that there was a studio flat available at the place we’d been to see before. I went to see with her and agreed to take it. Mina and I ate dinner at Pizza Firenzi. We invited Dook to join us but she declined. She is still sulking.
After the fish farm, we returned to our hotel. Dook called to say that there was a studio flat available at the place we’d been to see before. I went to see with her and agreed to take it. Mina and I ate dinner at Pizza Firenzi. We invited Dook to join us but she declined. She is still sulking.
Monday
6 October
This morning it rained and rained and rained! We ate breakfast at a place called Ao Nang Cuisine. The food was nice but very Thai. As we left, I noticed a sign which thanked us for our custom and wished our families luck forever!
After breakfast, the steady heavy rain continued so we decided to stay another night as there was obviously no point in going anywhere when the weather was like this. After I’d paid, Mina told me that we could have stayed at Bah’s luxury resort for only 1,800 baht! Bah could have got us in on an “inspection”. Why she didn’t tell me before is a mystery! Perhaps she wanted to save it as a subject to argue about…
The rain continued. We sat in our dismal room and waited for the rain to stop. It didn’t. We started thinking about Bah’s luxury resort with swimming pool and spa…
For want of anything better to do, I wrote my diary and Mina wrote her poems. She was very fond of writing love poem. After a while, she went outside. Suddenly she came back in again, beaming.
“I’ve got a refund!” she said. “I spoke nicely to the man at reception and he’s given us our money back!”
I jumped up. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
I packed my suitcase while Mina phoned for Anas to pick us up. In less than 10 minutes we were pulling up in front of the entrance of Vogue Pranang Bay Resort and uniformed and gloved staff were taking our suitcases, bowing and opening doors, ushering us into cream leather sofas while the manager himself brought us drinks and scented white towels to wipe our hands on…
I started to feel suspicious. Surely, not all customers coming from 500 baht guesthouses received such VIP treatment? I turned to Mina, who was smiling graciously and looking pretty pleased with herself.
“Who do they think we are?” I asked her in a low undertone. “What have you told them? Who are we supposed to be?”
“I told the manager that I am from Petcherat Marina and that it is an inspection,” she whispered. “Everybody knows Petcherat here. I used to be their marketing manager and I showed him my old card. I think he was suspicious at first because there was no letter beforehand but I told him that I was in a hurry. So I got him to phone my old boss at Petcherat – he is a good friend of mine. And he told the manager that ‘yeah, Mina is with us.’”
This morning it rained and rained and rained! We ate breakfast at a place called Ao Nang Cuisine. The food was nice but very Thai. As we left, I noticed a sign which thanked us for our custom and wished our families luck forever!
After breakfast, the steady heavy rain continued so we decided to stay another night as there was obviously no point in going anywhere when the weather was like this. After I’d paid, Mina told me that we could have stayed at Bah’s luxury resort for only 1,800 baht! Bah could have got us in on an “inspection”. Why she didn’t tell me before is a mystery! Perhaps she wanted to save it as a subject to argue about…
The rain continued. We sat in our dismal room and waited for the rain to stop. It didn’t. We started thinking about Bah’s luxury resort with swimming pool and spa…
For want of anything better to do, I wrote my diary and Mina wrote her poems. She was very fond of writing love poem. After a while, she went outside. Suddenly she came back in again, beaming.
“I’ve got a refund!” she said. “I spoke nicely to the man at reception and he’s given us our money back!”
I jumped up. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
I packed my suitcase while Mina phoned for Anas to pick us up. In less than 10 minutes we were pulling up in front of the entrance of Vogue Pranang Bay Resort and uniformed and gloved staff were taking our suitcases, bowing and opening doors, ushering us into cream leather sofas while the manager himself brought us drinks and scented white towels to wipe our hands on…
I started to feel suspicious. Surely, not all customers coming from 500 baht guesthouses received such VIP treatment? I turned to Mina, who was smiling graciously and looking pretty pleased with herself.
“Who do they think we are?” I asked her in a low undertone. “What have you told them? Who are we supposed to be?”
“I told the manager that I am from Petcherat Marina and that it is an inspection,” she whispered. “Everybody knows Petcherat here. I used to be their marketing manager and I showed him my old card. I think he was suspicious at first because there was no letter beforehand but I told him that I was in a hurry. So I got him to phone my old boss at Petcherat – he is a good friend of mine. And he told the manager that ‘yeah, Mina is with us.’”
Soon, we were viewing the rooms which were pretty palatial compared to what we’d just come from. Mina told me that if it was an inspection from a well known big company, then the resort would discount heavily and give us 5 star treatment because of the hoped for follow up custom.
In the end, we settled for a top end open plan style honeymoon suite complete with big circular bathtub next to the huge four poster bed. The views were breathtaking and it had everything you might expect in such a place. The non-discounted low season price was 15,000 baht and they let Mina have it for 2,500 baht.
After the staff had left us, closing the door softly behind them, Mina and I went round our suite, gloating over every detail. Then we straightened our faces, changed into our swimwear and went for a swim in the pool below our balcony.
5 October
Today, we decided to go to Ao Nang. The boyfriend of Mina’s friend Bah came to collect us in a brand new sports pickup. His name was Anas and he was 23 – ten years younger than her. He took us to a rather posh place called Vogue Pranang Bay Resort where Bah was catering manager.
Bah was a very nice woman in her early thirties. She had recently been divorced and had obviously taken on Anas as a stopgap. She gave us coffee and then took us on an inspection of the resort which was beautifully done with spa, swimming pool, old style wood carvings, lush gardens etc. But it cost over 10,000 baht a night to stay there – which is more than a months salary for a Bangkok office worker.
Anas told us that before he had worked for Vogue Pranang Bay Resort as a driver. However, one day Natalie Galvbolva – the former Miss Universe, had come to stay with her fiancée the Thai tennis champion Paradon Srichaphan. There had been no driver to pick them up after dinner one night and, after she’d made a fuss, Anas had been sacked. Now he was looking for driving work again.
After the tour, Anas took us to Ao Nang where we took a rather drab and cheerless room which was by the seafront but had absolutely zero view as the one small window faced a dirty concrete wall about two feet away. However it had air con, hot water, refrigerator, cable TV etc for only 500 baht so was very good value for money.
After we’d unpacked our bags, Mina and I went for a swim in the sea and then had dinner with Bah and Anas at a lovely beach side restaurant.
Today, we decided to go to Ao Nang. The boyfriend of Mina’s friend Bah came to collect us in a brand new sports pickup. His name was Anas and he was 23 – ten years younger than her. He took us to a rather posh place called Vogue Pranang Bay Resort where Bah was catering manager.
Bah was a very nice woman in her early thirties. She had recently been divorced and had obviously taken on Anas as a stopgap. She gave us coffee and then took us on an inspection of the resort which was beautifully done with spa, swimming pool, old style wood carvings, lush gardens etc. But it cost over 10,000 baht a night to stay there – which is more than a months salary for a Bangkok office worker.
Anas told us that before he had worked for Vogue Pranang Bay Resort as a driver. However, one day Natalie Galvbolva – the former Miss Universe, had come to stay with her fiancée the Thai tennis champion Paradon Srichaphan. There had been no driver to pick them up after dinner one night and, after she’d made a fuss, Anas had been sacked. Now he was looking for driving work again.
After the tour, Anas took us to Ao Nang where we took a rather drab and cheerless room which was by the seafront but had absolutely zero view as the one small window faced a dirty concrete wall about two feet away. However it had air con, hot water, refrigerator, cable TV etc for only 500 baht so was very good value for money.
After we’d unpacked our bags, Mina and I went for a swim in the sea and then had dinner with Bah and Anas at a lovely beach side restaurant.
Saturday
3 October
This morning was spent packing my suitcase etc. I checked out of my hotel and then went to the main road and flagged down a taxi. The driver pulled up. He was a balding Chinese looking man of about 45 years with a pony tail and pointed beard.
“Can you take me to Don Mung?” I asked. He nodded and I loaded my suitcase into the boot and then got in.
“Ah, er you don’t need meter?” he suggested hopefully.
“Yes, meter!” I said firmly in Thai.
“Oh,” he said disappointedly and turned it on. “I thought you were a foreigner…”
We spent the journey in pleasant chit chat. He told me that he was half Chinese, that he was from Bangkok and that people from the South and from Isan were “not to be trusted”. The women were “worse than the men”, he finished. I thanked him for his advice. By the time we’d reached the airport, the meter stood at 167. I gave him 180 baht and told him to keep the change. We both departed on our respective ways, invigorated.
I flew with Thai Air and had a good and uneventful flight. We arrived at Krabi International Airport on time and I took a cab to the Grand Tower Inn. It was a different world from Bangkok. The roads were good, the traffic light and orderly and everywhere was so clean. I sat back in the cream leather seat of the taxi and silently rejoiced. This was a place to write.
I checked in and then went to eat at Pizza Firenzi– a wonderful Italian restaurant run by a Thai woman who is married to a retired Italian stockbroker. After a delicious meal, I met with my friend Dook.
This morning was spent packing my suitcase etc. I checked out of my hotel and then went to the main road and flagged down a taxi. The driver pulled up. He was a balding Chinese looking man of about 45 years with a pony tail and pointed beard.
“Can you take me to Don Mung?” I asked. He nodded and I loaded my suitcase into the boot and then got in.
“Ah, er you don’t need meter?” he suggested hopefully.
“Yes, meter!” I said firmly in Thai.
“Oh,” he said disappointedly and turned it on. “I thought you were a foreigner…”
We spent the journey in pleasant chit chat. He told me that he was half Chinese, that he was from Bangkok and that people from the South and from Isan were “not to be trusted”. The women were “worse than the men”, he finished. I thanked him for his advice. By the time we’d reached the airport, the meter stood at 167. I gave him 180 baht and told him to keep the change. We both departed on our respective ways, invigorated.
I flew with Thai Air and had a good and uneventful flight. We arrived at Krabi International Airport on time and I took a cab to the Grand Tower Inn. It was a different world from Bangkok. The roads were good, the traffic light and orderly and everywhere was so clean. I sat back in the cream leather seat of the taxi and silently rejoiced. This was a place to write.
I checked in and then went to eat at Pizza Firenzi– a wonderful Italian restaurant run by a Thai woman who is married to a retired Italian stockbroker. After a delicious meal, I met with my friend Dook.
Wednesday
New Post!
Ok, have finally got returned to my blog after many months (years?) absence. Here is my Thailand diary from 15 September right up until now....
Thailand Diary 2007
26 September Today I arose at 7.15, took a cold shower, did my exercises and had breakfast. Twas good. Then I went to the British Club to swim and do my emails. I received an email from Phuket Schools offering me a job but I don’t think I will take it. I also booked my flight to Krabi this Saturday. I had a delicious lunch with coffee and cake afterwards.
It really isn’t a bad life. I’m leading the life of a wealthy retired person – whilst I’m still young enough to fully enjoy it!
25 September
Today, I took my mother to get a new mobile phone contract. We met Kik at Big C.
She told my mother that I was not nice and that I always teased her.
Afterwards, I drove my mother home and then took the air conditioned coach to Bangkok. It cost me 57 baht for the 2 hour journey. Now I am back at the White Lodge. Mina phoned and advised me to sleep with Pi Kung, her older cousin who lives in Huay Kwang. June, Dook’s friend who is married to a Canadian, rang and arranged to meet up tomorrow evening in Siam. “I am going to dress up sexily so that you will catch hold of me!” she promised. While I was on the phone to her, Jeab rang to complain that I didn’t love her – “but anyway, I don’t care because you don’t care for me anymore.”
24 September
This morning I arose at 6.15am to give alms to the monks. The local mosquitoes were delighted.
“The early Mosquito catches the early Farang!” whooped a large evil-looking specimen gleefully and swooped down to feed on the sweet blood.
“Hey Garnash! Don’t forget to put down lots of poison while you’re feedin’!” advised his friend. “Make the farang itch and swell!”
“Gollnish! Do I look like I’m stupid, eh? I am poison! In fact, if I was a bit bigger and a lot longer, I reckon I could give a King Cobra a run for his money…”
After lunch, I cleaned Dad’s car and took my mother to the temple shop. At about 2pm, Pi At and Pi Nun arrived in Pi At’s car and took me to have coffee at Big C with Pi Domp.
23 September
Today I spent a nice relaxing day helping Na Beer clean his car. Afterwards, I had the bright idea of wiping citronella oil into the wooden side rails of the sala to ward off mosquitoes.
21 September
Today I said goodbye to Mina and went to Chachoengsao to see my mother and grandmother. Chachoengsao is a medium sized Thai country town – very different from Bangkok. There are lots of big heavy trucks rushing through it and very few farangs.
I met my friend Kik at Big C, the town’s main supermarket. Kik is a 25 year old Thai girl with long dyed blonde hair whose ambition is to have a Farang boyfriend and have “luke krung” children. Last time I’d met her, she’d just spent 10,000 baht on having the bridge of her nose made bigger so that it would look more westernized. I asked her how she was.
“Not good,” she replied mournfully. “The other day, a farang came to Big C. Very tall and handsome. My friends asked him if he liked me but he said that my face was too much like a “luke Krung”. He prefers Thai girls – not Thai girls who look like westerners…”
I roared with delighted laughter. “What did you expect?” I said. If a western man comes over to Thailand, he’s going to be looking for Thai girls, isn’t he? He’s not going to want a western look-alike! Som na na!”
20 September
Today I went swimming at the British Club again with Mina. With her waist-length curly black hair and slim tanned body, she looked like a Brazilian beach babe in her bikini. She attracted a lot of attention from both men and women alike and was very pleased with herself.
“Look!” she said. “They are all staring at us! And just now in the changing rooms, a woman came up to me and asked if she could feel my hair.”
She sipped her banana milkshake. “I’m going to eat you!”
19 September
Today I got up before 8am and did my exercises. Mina had changed her mind about returning to America and instead joined me late for breakfast at the café next to our hotel. She had done herself up very nicely and caused quite a stir which she evidently enjoyed.
We spent the day shopping in the Siam Square district and then ate dinner at a rather pretentious and overpriced Italian restaurant near MBK. The pasta dish I ordered was ok but expensive for this soi and Mina’s pizza was soggy and severely underdone. However, it was a great place for people watching.
“Look at that girl there!” I told Mina as a couple walked by. “She has a great figure and has lovely curly hair – I think she must be Brazilian. Wow, she is so sexy – can you go and grab her for me please!”
“Yes, if you like. Because I think that actually she’s a ladyboy and she would love to rape you!”
18 September
Today I got up early and had breakfast with Mina. She told me that she didn’t love me anymore and that she was “bored” with me. “I think I’m going back to America,” she said.
I told her “Som na na!” And then we went to MBK to check out prices of fake Ralph Lauren polo shirts for my students.
We found the shirts – they were all about 200 baht. Mission accomplished, we took the skytrain to the British Club in Silom. There we swam and Mina, who was a good swimmer, tried her best to embarrass me in the water. I told her to stop behaving like a Khao San Road girl and she immediately flew into a sulk.
“I think I’m going to work in Sweden,” she said. “A smart, clever girl like me can find work anywhere!”
17 September
I got up late this morning and felt pretty good for it. Went to MBK in the early afternoon and then met up with Jeab at Starbucks Saladang. She was looking very nice – she is a sweet girl even if she isn’t the most beautiful.
When I returned to the hotel, Mina told me huffily that she’d come all the way from America to see me – and I’d left her to go see an ex-girlfriend…Not that she, Mina, minded by the way. She didn’t like me because I was a “luke krung” and therefore conceited, probably dirty and generally sub-standard…so there!
16 September
Despite my morbid premonitions, I arrived safely in Bangkok. My headache had cleared and my feeling of sickness had also gone. As I walked through the airport, all the big television screens in the lounges were showing live news coverage of a horrific air crash in Phuket. 89 People had died – over 50 of them western tourists. I had been lucky…
I passed through customs and into the waiting crowd outside. “Taxi! Hey taxi – 400 baht!” chanted the touts. I shook my head and went to catch the express airport bus into town for 150 baht. At Ratchamri, I changed to the skytrain and got off at National Stadium. There, I got a spotless air conditioned room with hot water for 400 baht.
Later I met up with Mina, my half Thai – half Arabic friend who had arrived from America the same day. “I’m really jet lagged,” she complained.
15 September
I left home with a strange feeling that I was going to die, that I would never see my family again.
With this sobering thought in mind, I noticed with more than my usual attention that Cornwall was without a doubt one of the most beautiful places on this earth, that I had never really appreciated just how wonderful my father was, that the clear blue sky reflected in a calm sea was quite mind-blowing and the colour of fresh grass by the roadside in the morning sunlight was truly wonderful.
My father took me to the bus station in his silver Volvo estate and we queued in the warm September sunlight while the ancient public address system blared out Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto to frighten away the tramps and drug addicts.
After Dad had dropped me off, I was again conscious of that strange premonition that this was the last time for us and I stared after him from my seat on the coach while he awkwardly turned the Volvo around in the car park and drove slowly away.
During the journey up to Heathrow, I tried to surf the internet on my phone and listen to the mp3 player. But my heart was not in it. I skipped listlessly through tracks of the Muse, Jesse Cook and the Rolling Stones but mentally, I was preparing to die.
I arrived at Heathrow, which was undergoing major reconstruction and consequently a total mess, and checked in with a blinding headache. On the plane, I tried to eat but felt sick so made sure that the paper bag was close to hand. I closed my eyes, reviewed my life up until the present moment and felt at peace despite my bodily discomfort.
Thailand Diary 2007
26 September Today I arose at 7.15, took a cold shower, did my exercises and had breakfast. Twas good. Then I went to the British Club to swim and do my emails. I received an email from Phuket Schools offering me a job but I don’t think I will take it. I also booked my flight to Krabi this Saturday. I had a delicious lunch with coffee and cake afterwards.
It really isn’t a bad life. I’m leading the life of a wealthy retired person – whilst I’m still young enough to fully enjoy it!
25 September
Today, I took my mother to get a new mobile phone contract. We met Kik at Big C.
She told my mother that I was not nice and that I always teased her.
Afterwards, I drove my mother home and then took the air conditioned coach to Bangkok. It cost me 57 baht for the 2 hour journey. Now I am back at the White Lodge. Mina phoned and advised me to sleep with Pi Kung, her older cousin who lives in Huay Kwang. June, Dook’s friend who is married to a Canadian, rang and arranged to meet up tomorrow evening in Siam. “I am going to dress up sexily so that you will catch hold of me!” she promised. While I was on the phone to her, Jeab rang to complain that I didn’t love her – “but anyway, I don’t care because you don’t care for me anymore.”
24 September
This morning I arose at 6.15am to give alms to the monks. The local mosquitoes were delighted.
“The early Mosquito catches the early Farang!” whooped a large evil-looking specimen gleefully and swooped down to feed on the sweet blood.
“Hey Garnash! Don’t forget to put down lots of poison while you’re feedin’!” advised his friend. “Make the farang itch and swell!”
“Gollnish! Do I look like I’m stupid, eh? I am poison! In fact, if I was a bit bigger and a lot longer, I reckon I could give a King Cobra a run for his money…”
After lunch, I cleaned Dad’s car and took my mother to the temple shop. At about 2pm, Pi At and Pi Nun arrived in Pi At’s car and took me to have coffee at Big C with Pi Domp.
23 September
Today I spent a nice relaxing day helping Na Beer clean his car. Afterwards, I had the bright idea of wiping citronella oil into the wooden side rails of the sala to ward off mosquitoes.
21 September
Today I said goodbye to Mina and went to Chachoengsao to see my mother and grandmother. Chachoengsao is a medium sized Thai country town – very different from Bangkok. There are lots of big heavy trucks rushing through it and very few farangs.
I met my friend Kik at Big C, the town’s main supermarket. Kik is a 25 year old Thai girl with long dyed blonde hair whose ambition is to have a Farang boyfriend and have “luke krung” children. Last time I’d met her, she’d just spent 10,000 baht on having the bridge of her nose made bigger so that it would look more westernized. I asked her how she was.
“Not good,” she replied mournfully. “The other day, a farang came to Big C. Very tall and handsome. My friends asked him if he liked me but he said that my face was too much like a “luke Krung”. He prefers Thai girls – not Thai girls who look like westerners…”
I roared with delighted laughter. “What did you expect?” I said. If a western man comes over to Thailand, he’s going to be looking for Thai girls, isn’t he? He’s not going to want a western look-alike! Som na na!”
20 September
Today I went swimming at the British Club again with Mina. With her waist-length curly black hair and slim tanned body, she looked like a Brazilian beach babe in her bikini. She attracted a lot of attention from both men and women alike and was very pleased with herself.
“Look!” she said. “They are all staring at us! And just now in the changing rooms, a woman came up to me and asked if she could feel my hair.”
She sipped her banana milkshake. “I’m going to eat you!”
19 September
Today I got up before 8am and did my exercises. Mina had changed her mind about returning to America and instead joined me late for breakfast at the café next to our hotel. She had done herself up very nicely and caused quite a stir which she evidently enjoyed.
We spent the day shopping in the Siam Square district and then ate dinner at a rather pretentious and overpriced Italian restaurant near MBK. The pasta dish I ordered was ok but expensive for this soi and Mina’s pizza was soggy and severely underdone. However, it was a great place for people watching.
“Look at that girl there!” I told Mina as a couple walked by. “She has a great figure and has lovely curly hair – I think she must be Brazilian. Wow, she is so sexy – can you go and grab her for me please!”
“Yes, if you like. Because I think that actually she’s a ladyboy and she would love to rape you!”
18 September
Today I got up early and had breakfast with Mina. She told me that she didn’t love me anymore and that she was “bored” with me. “I think I’m going back to America,” she said.
I told her “Som na na!” And then we went to MBK to check out prices of fake Ralph Lauren polo shirts for my students.
We found the shirts – they were all about 200 baht. Mission accomplished, we took the skytrain to the British Club in Silom. There we swam and Mina, who was a good swimmer, tried her best to embarrass me in the water. I told her to stop behaving like a Khao San Road girl and she immediately flew into a sulk.
“I think I’m going to work in Sweden,” she said. “A smart, clever girl like me can find work anywhere!”
17 September
I got up late this morning and felt pretty good for it. Went to MBK in the early afternoon and then met up with Jeab at Starbucks Saladang. She was looking very nice – she is a sweet girl even if she isn’t the most beautiful.
When I returned to the hotel, Mina told me huffily that she’d come all the way from America to see me – and I’d left her to go see an ex-girlfriend…Not that she, Mina, minded by the way. She didn’t like me because I was a “luke krung” and therefore conceited, probably dirty and generally sub-standard…so there!
16 September
Despite my morbid premonitions, I arrived safely in Bangkok. My headache had cleared and my feeling of sickness had also gone. As I walked through the airport, all the big television screens in the lounges were showing live news coverage of a horrific air crash in Phuket. 89 People had died – over 50 of them western tourists. I had been lucky…
I passed through customs and into the waiting crowd outside. “Taxi! Hey taxi – 400 baht!” chanted the touts. I shook my head and went to catch the express airport bus into town for 150 baht. At Ratchamri, I changed to the skytrain and got off at National Stadium. There, I got a spotless air conditioned room with hot water for 400 baht.
Later I met up with Mina, my half Thai – half Arabic friend who had arrived from America the same day. “I’m really jet lagged,” she complained.
15 September
I left home with a strange feeling that I was going to die, that I would never see my family again.
With this sobering thought in mind, I noticed with more than my usual attention that Cornwall was without a doubt one of the most beautiful places on this earth, that I had never really appreciated just how wonderful my father was, that the clear blue sky reflected in a calm sea was quite mind-blowing and the colour of fresh grass by the roadside in the morning sunlight was truly wonderful.
My father took me to the bus station in his silver Volvo estate and we queued in the warm September sunlight while the ancient public address system blared out Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto to frighten away the tramps and drug addicts.
After Dad had dropped me off, I was again conscious of that strange premonition that this was the last time for us and I stared after him from my seat on the coach while he awkwardly turned the Volvo around in the car park and drove slowly away.
During the journey up to Heathrow, I tried to surf the internet on my phone and listen to the mp3 player. But my heart was not in it. I skipped listlessly through tracks of the Muse, Jesse Cook and the Rolling Stones but mentally, I was preparing to die.
I arrived at Heathrow, which was undergoing major reconstruction and consequently a total mess, and checked in with a blinding headache. On the plane, I tried to eat but felt sick so made sure that the paper bag was close to hand. I closed my eyes, reviewed my life up until the present moment and felt at peace despite my bodily discomfort.
Sunday
Within two days, I was at Bangkok’s International Airport, waiting for my flight back home to England. It had been an eventful two months – two months that had whetted my appetite. I knew that I wanted to come back for a longer period of time. To stay longer than two months meant working out here and, for me, that was not a problem. I was, after all, a TEFL teacher – there was no need to sell myself on Patpong Road….
I returned to Bangkok that afternoon. I never knew what happened to the middle aged gay German or his slim young Thai man in leopard briefs. Perhaps he died in the speedboat, perhaps his German lover was caught by the police and thrown into one of Bangkok's notorious jails. I suspect though, that he was simply fined and the slim young Thai man in leopard briefs lived to prowl another day.
Wednesday
Gay Murder in Paradise...
At about four in the morning, I was rudely awakened by the sound of shouting and banging from the bungalow next door. “Peter! Look for me, Peter! Let me in!”
It was the voice of the slim young Thai man with the leopard skin briefs. (Although whether or not he was still wearing them I could not tell you – being way too tired to get up and look).
Bang, bang, bang! “Peter!” his voice was strident now and not soft and sensual like how it had been when I had met him on the path. “Look for me, Peter! I tell you!”
“Fuck off, you dirty f***ing slut! You dirty f***ing whore!”
It was the portly middle-aged German man. His voice was low, venomous and filled with hatred. “Fuck off back to your other boyfriend!”
“Not my other boyfriend, Peter! I love just you! I tell you!”
“Why were you…? (There then followed an unpleasantly graphic description of a sexual act) …then, eh? You were blatantly….(more unpleasantness) …at the Apache Bar. You filthy SLUT!”
His voice rose on the last word. Evidently, it was a subject he had strong feelings about.
“Not mean anything to me, Peter. Just fun for me. I love you, Peter! Let me in!”
“How can you love me when you only met me three days ago?! Now F*** OFF! I NEVER want to see you again!”
He was shouting harshly now. The slim Thai man didn’t like this.
“Look for me, Peter! I give your money back!” he suggested.
“F*** off!” “I tell you, Peter. I give your money back…it’s promise. I not go to Police now. Look for me…” “F*** OFF!”
This went on for several minutes with not much variation except that both mens' voices became increasingly emotional. Finally, the slim Thai man decided to change tactics.
”You not look for me, Peter! I DIE for you, Peter!” he shrieked. “I LOVE you, Peter!”
“F*** OFF!”
“F*** OFF!”
There came the sudden sound of smashing glass and then a low groan. “I die now, Peter! I die for you…” (Muffled sob.) “I die for you now, Peter… Look for me…”
...There then followed a short silence broken only by the (presumably) dying groans of the slim young Thai man. Then came sounds of doors opening, of people exclaiming and calling out. I recognized one of the voices as being that of friendly gay English man from the bungalow opposite.
...There then followed a short silence broken only by the (presumably) dying groans of the slim young Thai man. Then came sounds of doors opening, of people exclaiming and calling out. I recognized one of the voices as being that of friendly gay English man from the bungalow opposite.
"F***! Get a towel quick... doctor... he needs a doctor immediately... what happened?"
(The middle aged German man's voice - he sounded worried now). "He kept threatening to call the police... met him in a bar... came back late on drugs... crazy... slut... jealous... no need for police..."
(Other voices I did not recognise). "Is there a doctor on this island? Bind that towel more tightly... hasn't stopped bleeding... speedboat... need a speedboat... doctor on mainland..."
(Middle aged German) “Slut…I saw him giving that American a blowjob in the bar…f***ing slut! Paid him 5000 for this trip as well…”
(Middle aged German) “Slut…I saw him giving that American a blowjob in the bar…f***ing slut! Paid him 5000 for this trip as well…”
(Friendly gay English man) "It's two grand for the speedboat...are you going to go with him?"
(Middle aged German man) "Yes, I'll go with him...slut! I'll pay for the boat... no need for police..."
He must have been in Thailand long enough to know that farang sex tourists are a major source of income to many low paid policemen.
He must have been in Thailand long enough to know that farang sex tourists are a major source of income to many low paid policemen.
I got and went to the window. The slim young Thai man was sitting in a pool of blood, a towel wrapped tightly around his forearm. He was still dressed in his skimpy leopard skin bathing trunks. A crowd of people gathered around him.
To be continued…
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