On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love rang me to say that she didn’t want to see me again because I was a no-good “luke krung” who wasn’t even a proper farang and told me that she was going to travel south-east Asia by bike with a friend of hers. I wished her luck but warned her that to cycle across south-east Asia was going to take longer than to cycle to work at the Green Mango on Samui.
Today I had two lessons, both in the same private housing estate. The first student just wanted to practice conversation. I was shown into a large and comfortable air conditioned living room, a maid brought in a tray of coffee, water and Thai sweetmeats and then we chatted in English.
We talked about future plans and my student told me that she intended to go to Switzerland for Christmas and also take in Vienna and Florence. After an hour, it was time to collect my money and go to my next lesson.
I walked around to the next soi to Amy’s house. As I approached the electric gates, I was wondering what to do about her dog. It had done its best to savage me last visit. It was a young male and this was the mating season so its testosterone levels were high. No doubt last visit it had sniffed me out for the alpha male that I was and been filled with jealous rage.
I decided that it was probably afraid of me, as well as envious. I had spoken kindly to him last time and he’d taken this as a sign of weakness and a signal to attack. Well, this time I would ignore him.
I pressed the bell and the electric gates slid open. He was waiting for me on the porch, his fierce red eyes watching me intently. I strode towards front door, coldly ignoring him. He yelped at my direct approach and ran off around the side of the house.
I went into the house and seated myself in the large and comfortable air conditioned living room. A maid came in and brought me a tray of fresh coffee, freshly made mango juice, mineral water and a large fruit tart. Private lessons are so much more agreeable than teaching in a school. Especially when there are 60 or so students to a class.
As I relaxed on the leather sofa, my mobile rang. It was Amy’s mum.
“Mr Ben. Amy’s mum speaking. Are you at my home?”
“Yes, just arrived.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. We have a problem with Amy. The maid could not find her and nobody knew where she was.”
I sat up. “Has she got a mobile phone? Have you rang her school yet?”
“Oh no. I have found her now. She is sleeping in the back of my car. She is very sleepy. I brought her home about an hour ago and I thought that she’d got out but she didn’t because she was asleep and nobody noticed. But the maid took her shoes into the house so now she can not go to the toilet. I am at the supermarket. We will be home in about another twenty minutes. I am so sorry, Mr Ben.”
I relaxed back on the sofa. “No problem at all,” I told her.
Amy’s mum might have sent all her children to Harrow and prefer Europe to home – but her sense of time was definitely Thai. Her ‘twenty’ minutes would be an English forty minutes at least or probably a German hour. I took out pen and paper and wrote my diary.
Today I had two lessons, both in the same private housing estate. The first student just wanted to practice conversation. I was shown into a large and comfortable air conditioned living room, a maid brought in a tray of coffee, water and Thai sweetmeats and then we chatted in English.
We talked about future plans and my student told me that she intended to go to Switzerland for Christmas and also take in Vienna and Florence. After an hour, it was time to collect my money and go to my next lesson.
I walked around to the next soi to Amy’s house. As I approached the electric gates, I was wondering what to do about her dog. It had done its best to savage me last visit. It was a young male and this was the mating season so its testosterone levels were high. No doubt last visit it had sniffed me out for the alpha male that I was and been filled with jealous rage.
I decided that it was probably afraid of me, as well as envious. I had spoken kindly to him last time and he’d taken this as a sign of weakness and a signal to attack. Well, this time I would ignore him.
I pressed the bell and the electric gates slid open. He was waiting for me on the porch, his fierce red eyes watching me intently. I strode towards front door, coldly ignoring him. He yelped at my direct approach and ran off around the side of the house.
I went into the house and seated myself in the large and comfortable air conditioned living room. A maid came in and brought me a tray of fresh coffee, freshly made mango juice, mineral water and a large fruit tart. Private lessons are so much more agreeable than teaching in a school. Especially when there are 60 or so students to a class.
As I relaxed on the leather sofa, my mobile rang. It was Amy’s mum.
“Mr Ben. Amy’s mum speaking. Are you at my home?”
“Yes, just arrived.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. We have a problem with Amy. The maid could not find her and nobody knew where she was.”
I sat up. “Has she got a mobile phone? Have you rang her school yet?”
“Oh no. I have found her now. She is sleeping in the back of my car. She is very sleepy. I brought her home about an hour ago and I thought that she’d got out but she didn’t because she was asleep and nobody noticed. But the maid took her shoes into the house so now she can not go to the toilet. I am at the supermarket. We will be home in about another twenty minutes. I am so sorry, Mr Ben.”
I relaxed back on the sofa. “No problem at all,” I told her.
Amy’s mum might have sent all her children to Harrow and prefer Europe to home – but her sense of time was definitely Thai. Her ‘twenty’ minutes would be an English forty minutes at least or probably a German hour. I took out pen and paper and wrote my diary.
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