Teaching Online

Three months on from my last post and I find myself rather unexpectedly still in Thailand. I am not however in heavenly Phuket but in the sweltering heat of Bangkok in the hot season. When I look around and take stock of my daily life and surroundings, I am not, however, disappointed. There are many things pleasing to the eye and soothing to the soul.

I live in a luxury apartment by the river, complete with infinity swimming pool and outdoor jacuzzi. There is a large, air conditioned gym with the glass walls facing out onto the river so that while you exercise you can watch the big black river barges, loaded up to the limit with sand, being towed slowly past by a tiny wooden tug boat. Just up the road is a Villa supermarket that stocks every kind of imported food you could want. Down the road is a local market that stocks everything local you could want.

To help support myself in this artificial but nevertheless agreeable oasis, I am teaching English online to Chinese kids. See? I don't even need to step outside this oasis. No sweaty commutes in the notorious Bangkok traffic for yours truly. I teach one to one via skype or QQ Messenger – a Chinese version of Whatsapp that supports video chat but refuses to send or receive photos. The money is less than half of what I get for teaching face to face in England but then the monthly rent for my condo is exactly half of what I would pay for living in a room in a shared house in Plymouth.

My students range from three year olds to business men in their forties. Mostly though, they are kids between five and thirteen. My first student today is an eight year old boy called Leo. He has booked a twenty-five minute lesson with me and has already uploaded a pdf file of what he wants to study. Today is his first time with me and he has opted to study via skype.

Ten minutes before the class is due to start, I send him a friend request on skype. He does not respond. Two minutes before the class I send him a message in that hope that he will see it despite not having accepted my friend request. Still nothing. I am typing a message to the help desk of the Chinese teaching company to inform them when my smartphone starts beeping. It is a video chat request from someone called Leo.

I press accept and there is a chubby faced little boy with his black hair combed forward like one of the early Beatles smiling out of the screen at me.

'Hello Teacher!' he beams.

'Hello Leo! How are you?'

'I'm fine thank you and you?'

'I'm very well thanks. Do you have your book?'

I go through the lesson with Leo. It is a simple children's book aimed at 7-9 year olds. Leo reads well with good pronunciation and intonation. It is easy for him, he knows all the target vocabulary and can answer the comprehension questions at the end of the chapter. I ask him at the end if he has any questions. He beams happily.

'Yes teacher. What is your KG?'

'My what?'

'Your KG. I would like to know your KG?

A young Chinese woman suddenly leans into the screen. Presumably it is Leo's mother. 'Hello Teacher!' she says in heavily accented English. 'KG. Is that right? What is your KG?'

'Hello Leo's mum. Ummm. Kay what? Can you write it?'

She disappears again and is replaced by Leo. He types something on his keyboard. A moment later it pops up on my screen.

'Scales'.

'Oh, my weight! You mean how heavy are you? Or what is your weight?'

'How heavy are you? What is your weigh?' chats Leo.

'Weight! What is your weight?'

'Weight. What is your weight?' repeats Leo dutifully.

'Guess. You have to guess.' I hold up three fingers. 'You have three guesses!'

'One hundred KG!' shouts Leo gleefully.

'One hundred kilos. No, down. Down, down!'

Leo chuckles with delight. 'Eighty kilos!'

'No. Down, down.'

'Sixty kilos!'

'No, up!'

'Sixty.....ummm...sixty-three!'

'Very good! Yes, I'm sixty-three kilos.'

He clucks his tongue with concern. 'Oh Teacher! You are very few kilos. Now you can ask me questions.'

'Ok. What are your hobbies?'

'Insects! Studying insects. I love insects!'

'Ok, great. What music do you like to listen to?'

'The Beatles!' shouts Leo joyously. 'Yeah!'

The Beatles? How could an eight year old boy from China where there is no access to Facebook, Google or even Youtube possibly have heard of the Beatles? This was fifty years after their heyday...or was Leo still thinking of insects?

'What's your favourite song?' I asked slyly, thinking that he would say some Chinese pop song or maybe a One Direction song.

'Hey Jude,' said Leo. 'It's my favourite song!'