3 April
Today I taught my 8 year old student at Thong Lor. He is obsessed with soldiers, guns and night vision binoculars. Today I brought him a present of two big maps, one of Thailand and the other of the world. He was delighted.
“For me?” he asked as he spread out the world on his table.
“Yes, for you,” I said.
His eyes lit up. “I know!” he said and rummaged in his box of toys. He dug out two plastic counters, one red and one yellow and a dice.
“Me red, you yellow,” he said and put the counters on the map. “Where is Canada?”
I showed him where Canada was. He put his red counter there.
“Me in Canada. Now you go to Melbourne,” he ordered. “Where is Melbourne?”
I showed him where it was and placed my yellow counter there. He nodded happily.
“Wait!” he said and went off to his bedroom. He came back carrying a large arsenal of plastic toy guns of various types and sizes. He dumped them on the floor and started sorting them out.
“Me this,” he said and started putting pistols into the pockets of his cargo pants. “You this.”
And he gave me a plastic M-16 rifle.
He threw the dice and then turned it so that it was showing six. He smiled happily.
“Six!” he exclaimed and moved his plastic counter rapidly north. “Now I in North Pole. You cannot see me. You come to Canada looking for me but cannot see me, ok?”
“Ok,” I agreed and picked up my rifle. He moved away from the table and surveyed the room.
“This Canada,” he said and pointed to the sofa. “Here North Pole, (a corner to the right of the sofa), cannot see me here. You here (he pointed to the table) here Melbourne.”
“Me,” (he crouched behind a chair in the North Pole) “Me here and you come to Canada looking for me but cannot see me. Then me ambush you,ok?”
“Ok,” I agreed and wandered over to Canada, my M-16 held loosely in my left hand. I looked closely at the sofa but could see no sign of its population.
“Hmmm,” I mused aloud. “Nobody home, eh? Seems like a nice kinda empty country for somebody with colonial aspirations like myself! I think I’ll take it…”
There was a sudden loud “Hey!” and I looked up to see a small ferocious looking boy bearing down on me from the North Pole. He held a gun in each hand and more weapons were protruding from his pockets.
I lifted my M-16 and gave him a short burst but he gestured to his small chest and smiled triumphantly.
“Seur ying curn mai dai,” he said.
“Oh, you mean a bullet proof vest?” I said.
“Yes, bullet proof vest,” he repeated, frowning slightly with concentration as he practiced saying the unfamiliar word. “Bullet proof vest!”
It was obvious that I was outgunned and had inferior armour here. My student took swift command.
“Put your hands up!” he barked. “Put your weapon on the floor!”
I did as he requested.
“Now stand against the wall! Feet up against the wall too!”
His accent was perfect. I smiled contentedly to myself. Even the most hardened cynic would have had to admit that I had taught him well.
Today I taught my 8 year old student at Thong Lor. He is obsessed with soldiers, guns and night vision binoculars. Today I brought him a present of two big maps, one of Thailand and the other of the world. He was delighted.
“For me?” he asked as he spread out the world on his table.
“Yes, for you,” I said.
His eyes lit up. “I know!” he said and rummaged in his box of toys. He dug out two plastic counters, one red and one yellow and a dice.
“Me red, you yellow,” he said and put the counters on the map. “Where is Canada?”
I showed him where Canada was. He put his red counter there.
“Me in Canada. Now you go to Melbourne,” he ordered. “Where is Melbourne?”
I showed him where it was and placed my yellow counter there. He nodded happily.
“Wait!” he said and went off to his bedroom. He came back carrying a large arsenal of plastic toy guns of various types and sizes. He dumped them on the floor and started sorting them out.
“Me this,” he said and started putting pistols into the pockets of his cargo pants. “You this.”
And he gave me a plastic M-16 rifle.
He threw the dice and then turned it so that it was showing six. He smiled happily.
“Six!” he exclaimed and moved his plastic counter rapidly north. “Now I in North Pole. You cannot see me. You come to Canada looking for me but cannot see me, ok?”
“Ok,” I agreed and picked up my rifle. He moved away from the table and surveyed the room.
“This Canada,” he said and pointed to the sofa. “Here North Pole, (a corner to the right of the sofa), cannot see me here. You here (he pointed to the table) here Melbourne.”
“Me,” (he crouched behind a chair in the North Pole) “Me here and you come to Canada looking for me but cannot see me. Then me ambush you,ok?”
“Ok,” I agreed and wandered over to Canada, my M-16 held loosely in my left hand. I looked closely at the sofa but could see no sign of its population.
“Hmmm,” I mused aloud. “Nobody home, eh? Seems like a nice kinda empty country for somebody with colonial aspirations like myself! I think I’ll take it…”
There was a sudden loud “Hey!” and I looked up to see a small ferocious looking boy bearing down on me from the North Pole. He held a gun in each hand and more weapons were protruding from his pockets.
I lifted my M-16 and gave him a short burst but he gestured to his small chest and smiled triumphantly.
“Seur ying curn mai dai,” he said.
“Oh, you mean a bullet proof vest?” I said.
“Yes, bullet proof vest,” he repeated, frowning slightly with concentration as he practiced saying the unfamiliar word. “Bullet proof vest!”
It was obvious that I was outgunned and had inferior armour here. My student took swift command.
“Put your hands up!” he barked. “Put your weapon on the floor!”
I did as he requested.
“Now stand against the wall! Feet up against the wall too!”
His accent was perfect. I smiled contentedly to myself. Even the most hardened cynic would have had to admit that I had taught him well.
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